I use to be incredibly shy and introverted. So I already knew my first solo business trip back in 2010 was going to push me to my limits (and it did right away with sitting in the cockpit of an airplane!) But, I figured it would be fine. I’d be at a resort with my clients and all their employees. I’d have my meals with them, I’d get to know them well. It would be good, it would be fine.

It wasn’t.

It turns out that this three-day employee conference I flew out for…actually only had the “trade show floor” open for just 3 hours. That’s right. I traveled halfway across the country, for 3 hours. I had stayed up all night the night before and got up insanely early, to prep for my presentation. But when I got to my shared booth space…no internet was in sight. Worse, apparently the employees of my client were only there to get free stuff, and as I was planning on training and doing demos of their website (that was hosted to allow orders to go into their store) my both screamed BORING and people mostly avoided me. I was halfway down the trade show floor, and people streamed by me trying to get free Lays Potato Chips or free Sobe Life Water. The few people I managed to corral to look at my now-tethered-to-my-shitty-phone-internet laptop knew about our software and promised to come back later. (They didn’t.)  That’s okay I thought. I’d talk to these employees more later at lunch and dinner.

And it was about that time my client (who had been busy up until that point) thanked me for coming out and said that they’d be busy with internal meetings and meals the rest of the day. I asked when I could see her again, and she let me know she and all my other contacts would be busy the remainder of my stay. I then found out from the other booth vendors that this was pretty much an employee retreat, that vendors weren’t invited, and that the short “trade show” was more for employees to get free stuff. With that, the other vendors packed up and went home, thankful that they were all local vendors.

So…I found myself in the offseason in Lake Placid with nothing to do for the rest of the day. With no car or transportation (this was before uber), with most stores still closed up, I walked back to my hotel (now carrying some of the leftover freebies which I ate along the way.) I knew the hotel had 3 restaurants but only 1 open right now, but it turned out I was the only non-client employee there, and the company had reserved it! I was stuck at a hotel that could not feed me, stuck during the offseason in a little town. So I went back to my room and snacked a bit more before deciding to make the most of my unexpectedly free afternoon by exploring the small town on foot.

I’m no stranger to small mountain vacation towns, after going up to Estas Park, Colorado so often with my folks (we even bought a cabin in town for a season or two). But still…I was the only person out and about. It was still a few weeks before tourists would make their way out here for summer vacation, so instead, it felt more like Groundhog Day or the Twilight Zone. I wandered about, taking photos, and not seeing a soul.

It was a beautiful little town, and the few souvenir shops that were open, the owners were nowhere to be found or stood up shocked that anyone was actually in their store. I bought a few small things to commemorate my first solo business trip. I then wandered (without GPS) in an attempt to see the “Lake Placid” of Lake Placid, although I’m not sure I actually ever found it. But it started getting dark…and not much was open. I found a hole in the wall Chinese place was open and I ordered some food…too embarrassed to sit alone and eat it that I got it to go. But after I got the food and sat by the water…I found it unappealing. I was a little depressed. I had come all this way, and only spoke to a handful of people, and now I’m eating Chinese take out by a lake alone!? I decided to save it for later…since I didn’t have any hopes that the hotel would be able to feed me (but at least the room had a microwave and a mini-fridge.)

Instead I looked for ANY restaurant that was open to eat a meal. I had to eat, real food, (not the junk I’d been eating for two days already) and I was ready to attempt to eat alone. I had passed the Great Adirondack Steak & Seafood Brewery before, but it didn’t even look open. But at this point, this seemed like the only option. I found the door was open, and I wandered in. It seemed like a nice restaurant, but there wasn’t anyone there! It had a nice dark pub-like atmosphere and overlooked the park, lake, and I assume during the busy season would have been a great place to people watch. I think I scared the cook and waitress as much as they scared me when we finally bumped into each other.

As they seated me next to the window, I looked around. I’ve always felt self-conscious of eating by myself, that people would judge me for being alone. And here I was, likely the only customer this restaurant would see all weekend! I decided to order the house specialty: a clam chowder and a hard pink lemonade. The glass for the lemonade had a beautiful design on the front and funny drinking sayings on the back.  The clam chowder was fresh and filling and I enjoyed it immensely. I must say the hard lemonade was much stronger than I thought it would be. The drink made me stop caring that the waitress was sitting in the back, watching me closely.

It is very rare in my life to have nothing else to see or do on a “vacation” and so I just sat there and just enjoyed it. Eating slowly, ordering seconds. That single meal helped me get over all my past anxiety of eating alone. Because I realized in that moment, that I hated eating in hotel rooms, I hated grabbing food to go instead of eating a proper meal. All that the anxiety got me was shitty food. But now I realized I could have a nice meal all on my own.

That was my first my first business trip solo, heck it was my first ever trip solo, and while it wasn’t what I first expected, it taught me a lot about how I can rely on myself!