Every moment I spent in fear about what we were now calling a Coronavirus, or COVID-19. I spent hours on Reddit message boards. The videos started to get worse out of China. How could they get worse?!? It just seemed to be spreading so badly. With videos of people falling to the ground. Of bodies piling up. Of people drowning in their own fluids. Things I can never unsee.
I started to join some Prepper communities and listening to what they had to say. Any amazon link became an instant buy for me. Fake grass for Tessa in case we couldn’t go outside. Prepper 25 year shelf life food…just in case. I finally got around to getting myself and my dog a haircut. I then splurged on new jeans.
I was in such a panic, but I forced myself early in February to go out to two different events, including a Super Bowl party, and a 1 year old’s birthday. I figured these might be the last times I could see my friends (and I was right.) I wish I had done more with friends this month. I was in so much fear, but no one else was. I should have seen and done more when I had the chance.
By the time my birthday came around I did nothing for it. Saw no one. Didn’t even bother to round people up. I was just too terrified. So I stayed home and watched the murder mystery Knives Out, which I actually greatly enjoyed, while drinking my bosses Christmas gift – a delicious Rum cocktail kit.
I wish I could say February passed quickly, but I just cannot forget my own panic. I’d sit at my desk at work looking around at everyone being normal. I’d have to go to the bathroom to cry, or hold my head in my hands while having a panic attack.
I brought up my concerns to one co-worker, a friend. She good-naturedly teased me a bit. I really hoped I was wrong. Later she’d mention booking a cheap trip to Asia, and I remember thinking “That’s never going to happen.”
My parents came over for leap day. They knew I was worried about the virus, but didn’t really believe me. They made fun of me for a bit. But around the end of February Mom had had some concerning meetings at work and so started to believe me. And they started slowly to prep.
Other Events in the World:
- Trump Acquitted
- Democratic Primaries
- Locusts in Africa
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