I’ve talked about triggering the ETD system before, as well as getting the SSSS on almost every trip I fly. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. In May 2016, after reading all those articles of massive lines at TSA checkpoints (which disappeared later on in the year) paid $100 to apply for Global Entry and TSA Pre-Check. I didn’t quite know what to expect. After being on the SSSS list, I decided against going through the lengthy “Redress” process. So I worried that I might be auto-denied for Global Entry.
I waited a few weeks and behold! I was conditionally approved! The specter of the SSSS list was nearly over! All I needed to do was go to an in-person interview, answer a few final questions, and then get my “Trusted Traveler” number and Global Entry card. No problem right? Not as easy as I thought. Again, I signed up when the news was talking about line TSA lines and heavily promoting the TSA Pre-Check program. So when I went to book my appointment (at the Denver International Airport) I found that the first available appointment…was not until 5PM on Thanksgiving, nearly 5 months away! Well of course I wasn’t going to go that day, but they weren’t showing dates for January yet. So I had to check every day in December. I finally snagged an appointment for December 29th, almost 7 months after applying for Global Entry. (It seemed like a good date at the time, however I didn’t realize I’d be traveling around that time and would be landing 2 hours before this appointment, but hey that is a different story.)
So with an appointment far off in my future to end my SSSS plight, of course TSA decided to give me one last hurrah before I could breeze through the Pre-Check line.  I was on my way for a business trip to Disney World. It would be a busy few days, followed by a weekend enjoying the theme parks. But first I had to get through security. The morning was already pretty busy for me. I had an early morning training call with a client in Europe, and then immediately grabbed an uber to the airport. I always get to the airport early, but my Uber had taken longer than I had expected. But I still had time.
I’m always prepared when going through security. I use packing cubes so it’s easier to re-pack my bags if they need to look through them. Medications and liquids are labeled. Electronics are in their own packing cube so if TSA wants to scan them on their own they can. (Like the German security freaked out on me for not having done that when heading to Egypt.) I know the drill and usually can get through the SSSS security rather “quickly” compared to others who experience extra TSA procedures for the first time. So I was ready when they asked to do a chemical test on my hands and my clothes. I’ve even in the past accidentally trigger a false positive. So when it came back positive, I wasn’t worried. They tested me again…and it came back positive again. At that moment, a worried TSA agent mentioned my bag had also triggered a positive on the chemical test.
It was at that moment I remembered I had used some anti-chafing balm and now realized it probably contained glycerine in it. And of course I put it on right before packing up the last of my things. The TSA to their credit were professional and helpful. From my past experience I knew I wasn’t allowed to touch any my belongings as they examined them. I had with me my backpack in addition to my normal carry-on. Due to using packing cubes that compress things, I’m able to pack a lot of stuff in my bags. This became a problem when the things WITHIN my bag started to test positive. Because of this they’d need to test EVERYTHING in my bag.
And when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING. At first we had 3 TSA agents going through my two bags. But as they started taking out and unzipping my packing cubes, things started to expand. Other agents joined in. One commented “How many bags are here?” “Two” they responded and they all just had shocked looks towards me. They started laughing upon coming to one packing cube full of snacks (hey, I didn’t want to spend money on my two personal days for theme park food prices). Another guy walks over to help, and opens my bag full of underwear and bras and blushed. It took over 40 minutes for them to check everything and by the end of it they were laughing and joking with me saying I “Won today’s best packer award!” I just smiled and laughed with them.
When they were done the 6 agents who finally gave my bags an all clear looked hopelessly as they attempted to shove everything in my bags, but it didn’t work. With a sheepish “Sorry…” they did helpfully heft my things into a smaller room so that way my clothes could be properly checked. I had never been in a back room. Two female agents apologized for taking so long. I smiled, looked around, and said it wasn’t a problem, that I had plenty of time and actually had never been in the back room before. I must have been too nice and chipper as they gave me a awkard “Okay….so…” before launching into what they would be doing. It was a more thorough pat down than I’ve had before, but otherwise was fine. Afterwards, they said I could use the room to re-pack. It took another half hour to re-pack everything. They all waved and thanked me for being such a good sport. Another thanked me for making their last few hours of their shift more interesting than it usually is.
So after an hour and a half, on one of my last non-TSA-Pre-Check experiences, I finally was able to make my way to the gate with just enough time to grab some food to go. While it was pretty funny I am so glad to now have my Global Entry/ TSA Precheck approval to be a “Trusted Traveler”. It certainly will be different!
Travel Missteps is an every-other week series on how sometimes part of the journey is making mistakes and getting lost.
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